Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
between two chunks of bread.

Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
"Pies, you dickhead."

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
said "Fuck him, He's only an egg."

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was gay.

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill
And now there's little Frankie.                                                                                                                                                                              

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Most poems rhyme
But this one doesn't.                                                                                                                                                                             

Little Boy Blue stood on the burning deck,
Playing a game of cricket,
The ball roll up his trouser leg
And stumped his middle wicket.

Nicked from Judge Dread.

                                                                                                                                                                             

The boy stood on the burning deck,
Eating red hot scollops,
One fell down his trouser leg
And burned him on the.....

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ankle!                                                                                                                                                                             

Mary had a little lamb,
She tied it to a pylon,
10 thousand volts went up it's bum
And turned it's wool to Nylon!