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Clever Insults

37 Posts | Latest reply on 19/12/2014 20:56:05 by Tonka64 | Go to original / last post

37 posts found over 2 pages. Page:

Skyejan

In: Perth
Posts: 49

Churchill, when a female member of Parliament told him that were he her husband, she would feed him poison... Churchill replied that were he her husband, he would take it!

Winston Churchill:Female MP says to Him: "Sir, you are drunk Churchill: "Yes Madam, and you are ugly, but tomorrow I will wake up sober"

Message posted by Skyejan on 20 September 2014 at 20:12

Click here to report this post to a moderator

Skyejan @ 20/09/2014 20:12:52

fudet

In: heysham
Posts: 475

lmao , they are good

Message posted by fudet on 21 September 2014 at 04:59

fudet @ 21/09/2014 04:59:17

Deleted Member

In: NA
Posts: 0

Without Googling, I think the second one was directed at Lady Astor.

Message posted by Deleted Member on 22 September 2014 at 01:06

Deleted Member @ 22/09/2014 01:06:19

Deleted Member

In: NA
Posts: 0

To an objectionable Wallasey barmaid - "Hasn't a house fallen on you yet?" http://magoo45.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/oz-witch-wiz...jhfhur.gif

Message posted by Deleted Member on 22 September 2014 at 17:46

Deleted Member @ 22/09/2014 17:46:27

Skyejan

In: Perth
Posts: 49

Lol Lol Valencia!! LOL

Message posted by Skyejan on 22 September 2014 at 20:17

Skyejan @ 22/09/2014 20:17:12

Joey05

In: Preston
Posts: 3720

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork!" - Mae West

Message posted by Joey05 on 23 September 2014 at 07:01

Joey05 @ 23/09/2014 07:01:04

Joey05

In: Preston
Posts: 3720

"I am enclosing two tickets to my new play, bring a friend, if you have one!"

George Bernad Shaw to Churchill

Message posted by Joey05 on 23 September 2014 at 07:02

Joey05 @ 23/09/2014 07:02:25

Deleted Member

In: NA
Posts: 0

To which, IIRC, the reply was- "I look forward to attending your play's second night - if there is one."

Message posted by Deleted Member on 23 September 2014 at 19:56

Deleted Member @ 23/09/2014 19:56:34

Skyejan

In: Perth
Posts: 49

Excellent! Lol

Message posted by Skyejan on 25 September 2014 at 10:45

Skyejan @ 25/09/2014 10:45:11

Deleted Member

In: NA
Posts: 0

"He's so ugly that when he appears on televison, Daleks hide behind the sofa." - Nick Hancock.

Message posted by Deleted Member on 25 September 2014 at 19:13

Deleted Member @ 25/09/2014 19:13:06

Joey05

In: Preston
Posts: 3720

" He was so mean, it even hurt him to go to the bathroom" Britt Ekland on Rod Stewart

Message posted by Joey05 on 28 September 2014 at 16:40

Joey05 @ 28/09/2014 16:40:14

Amanda

In: Staffordshire
Posts: 1377

Groucho Marx Vs. A Contestant on “You Bet Your Life”

Groucho: Why so many children?

Contestant: Well, Groucho, I love my wife.

Groucho: I love my cigar, but I take out of my mouth once in a while.

Message posted by Amanda on 01 October 2014 at 20:38

Amanda @ 01/10/2014 20:38:43

kaycat

In: radcliffe Manche
Posts: 6331

me to a flasher ........dose that come in adult size

Message posted by kaycat on 01 October 2014 at 20:41

kaycat @ 01/10/2014 20:41:48

Deleted Member

In: NA
Posts: 0

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'm willing to make an exception." - Groucho Marx. (Had to be, really.)

Message posted by Deleted Member on 01 October 2014 at 20:53

Deleted Member @ 01/10/2014 20:53:52

Joey05

In: Preston
Posts: 3720

Don't let your mind wander...it's too little to be out on its own..

Message posted by Joey05 on 02 October 2014 at 07:38

Joey05 @ 02/10/2014 07:38:35

Amanda

In: Staffordshire
Posts: 1377

A British MP to Benjamin Disraeli:

"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."

"That depends, sir," shot back Disraeli, "on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

Message posted by Amanda on 02 October 2014 at 10:48

Amanda @ 02/10/2014 10:48:26

Deleted Member

In: NA
Posts: 0

Not so much an insult about an individual, but the advertising industry. A letter to "Viz!" some time ago read something like this- “How impressed I was by Joanna Lumley’s performance in the recent TV advertisement for British Gas. It was a major factor in my decision to change the energy supply to my kitchen. Of course, I’d been cooking with f***ing Duracell batteries before then, hadn’t I.”

Message posted by Deleted Member on 03 October 2014 at 20:44

Deleted Member @ 03/10/2014 20:44:09

fantasia

In: Halifax
Posts: 671

Me to one of my friend. You make me feel Intelligent.
Friend answers smiling. Oh thank you
? I think.

Message posted by fantasia on 04 October 2014 at 12:24

fantasia @ 04/10/2014 12:24:30

Deleted Member

In: NA
Posts: 0

"You have a face like a million dollars. Green and wrinkled."

Message posted by Deleted Member on 05 October 2014 at 20:40

Deleted Member @ 05/10/2014 20:40:55

Deleted Member

In: NA
Posts: 0

I like to say

Men are such idiots
and I married their king

Message posted by Deleted Member on 06 October 2014 at 20:08

Deleted Member @ 06/10/2014 20:08:47

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