Our Children.. Siblings and just all wee ones connected to us in someway have an uncanny knack of making you wish the ground would open up or you could just disappear into your boots...   Yesterday.. was no exception...   Every other sentance from her sweet innocent mouth was like a public execution.. from thinking that a new member to the site on his first outing was a "Jockey" to telling the world that I buy food and deep fry it after hearing me tell them all what an awsome cook I am... And I've known that little lady for eight years and I've never seen her drink tea through a straw.. apparently I just dont pay attention lmao   This is just the tip of the Ellieminx Iceberg.. Her "Remember When's" and furtive imagination will end up with me being arrested...   "Remember when you kicked me off the bed mamma..."   Share your little darlings "pearls of wisdom" ~ I'd like to think I'm not on my own                                                                                                                                                                              

when my lad was 4  he couldn't wait to get to school one particular morning, to tell his teacher that I'd made him sleep in the cupboard all night!!!!

In his haste and excitement it seems , he failed to explain that as it was the night of the hurricane - back in 1987, remember peeps? -  the storm had ripped a massive hole in our roof, and the chimney stack was breaking up.
I didn't dare take us out of the house in case we were hit by falling debris. So the next best safe thing was to grab duvets, torches, story books - oh and child - and dive into the cupboard under the stairs and make it appear an adventure!!. Thank goodness we did as his bedroom ceiling was caved in by the chimney not 15 mins after I got us down the stairs!

Much explaining to the teachers was needed when I picked him up that day!!!!

                                                                                                                                                                             

when my lad was about 13 he didnt tell me he had a hole in the sole of his school shoes....he'd only had them 5 weeks (sure we've all been there!) at lunchtime one day i got a phone call from one of his teachers saying ive just had to take your John to the shoe shop in town and buy him a pair of shoes as his feet were wet because his shoes had a  huge hole in, can you send 20 quid in with him tomorrow ........OMG...totally mortified!   on a funnier note....my 4 year old grandson says to his mam.... "mummy my fingers smell funny" she says "oh dear do they, why is that?" he says "because ive had them stuck up my bum"...... WTF......then she says "well go and wash your hands then love".... on the way to the bathroom he says "mummy ....they dont taste very nice either!"   the same little charmer announced to his other grandmother and all her friends in the cafe...my mummy is having a baby! she wasnt! all hell broke loose as his dad had been working away for 3 months! lol   Kids.....i love em....just couldnt eat a whole one!                                                                                                                                                                              

I got my own back on my eldest, who was always embarrasing me. We were at a cafe with my youngest (12 yrs diff). We bumped into an aquaintence who, noticing the age gap, asked (not very subtly) if he was a late 'accident'?   I replied 'No, he was well planned, but as for the other one......'                                                                                                                                                                             

I went shopping with JP and my youngest but had forgotten to take my card wallet out with me and needed to get some cash.  I went into the bank and asked if they could help and they said it would be fine, could I just answer some security questions.  I was fine until they got to the one about "where were you living on such and such a date...."  after trying a couple of addresses that were apparently not the one she was looking for, I apologised saying I moved around a lot - at which point Katie piped up "My mum's a gypsy!".  Unfortunately, the address the lady was looking for was actually when I'd spent a year in a static caravan lol.

Boss Mom, aka Rosie Lee...                                                                                                                                                                             

Years ago took my little lad, about 5 as i remember (He's 30 now ) to Wyndley Pool in Sutton Park to feed the ducks,   as he threw a handful of bread in, he shouted 'here you are you bastards'
I can only assume he had heard that word at school.  Extemely embarassing at the time.                                                                                                                                                                             

When my ex step daughter was about 5 we were in the butchers, she pointed to a plate of liver and said very loudly "yuk that looks just like poo"                                                                                                                                                                             

A friend of mine was hoping for the ground to open up and swallow her when her young daughter announced to the world that "Mummy and Daddy keep a riding crop in their bedroom"                                                                                                                                                                               

pmsl........ that reminds me   My teenage daughters watch all the dodgy programmes on the tele like Embarrassing Bodies etc. and on one of them it mentioned the "reverse cowgirl" position.  She immediately tapped it into her phone and when the image popped up said "ewww" - then it was my turn to embarrass her by saying "why do you think I've got a cowboy hat in my bedroom".  I hasten to add it's just a rally hat which hangs on my wall but it was enough to make her cringe.                                                                                                                                                                             

Hey BossyMom......... I have never heard of the reverse cowgirl" position, I'm not proposing to look it up as i'm at work, but i'm guessing got nothing at all to do with dairy farming ??????????                                                                                                                                                                             

My cousin when he was 6 at scholl he had to write a short story about what he dressed up as on haloween.....he dressed as an old woman and said he even wore his mums tits (tights)....apparently the teacher nearly wet herself with all the stories..                                                                                                                                                                             

Out of the mouth of a 'babe'....   "Wolves!"   Has to go down as a classic                                                                                                                                                                             

Ohhhhhhhh these are ALL classic!! Thank you for sharing.. I can hardly type for laughing.. Ahhhhh giggles are good for the Soul..     And you know something I think I might actually one day miss being humiliated by Ellie lol.. Although if she puts a "Remember When..." in her Wedding Speech.. I think I'll get my own back somehow...  xx                                                                                                                                                                             

Wedding?   Is there summat u wanna share?                                                                                                                                                                             

This wasn't something that the little darlings actually said but an ex of mine was totally mortified when her young son turned up from school with a friend one day. The two of them disapeared upstairs to play and after a while my ex went up to find them racing 2 of her vibrators across her bedroom floor                                                                                                                                                                              

  ROFLMHO @ Centurion's post.                                                                                                                                                                             

Lmao!!!   Centurion.. you really need to consider the fact that I will likely have a fag hanging out my mouth when I read these.. I would have been beyond mortified.. Wolfgate would pale by comparison...                                                                                                                                                                              

And Ellie.. Married... She will have a hard job meeting a man To marry.. she's grounded till she's 33 for saying she doesn't like Bon Jovi                                                                                                                                                                              

When my daughter and nephew who where only 3 where at playgroup,my sister asked if I could pick them both up, but when i got there the playgroup leader asked if she could have a word...

She said that she had to tell both the kids off because they had been in the plastic telephone both taking turns to shout down the phone 'Fuck off nanna, fuck off grandad'!!!!!

We have NEVER swore at our parents, Ever, so i was mortified when she asked where there any issues with the kids grandparents.

I told my sister she could pick up her own kid next time!!!